What next

22Jun09

I am at a loss. I’ve not been performing well at my job lately. Actually, I’ve never really performed well at this job. I am not the most perfect employee, but I am definitely far from the worst. I feel I put in about 80% of the effort as the top performers, but I do only as 40% as well as them. Selling this damn credit protection is just not for me. I can’t even fake it. I’ve been putting in probably double the effort lately and there hasn’t been any improvement. I thought I had a great week last week, but turns out it was a lot (a lot) worse than I thought. If this week trends the same way then by Friday I have to give my 2 weeks notice. If I don’t give my notice, then I’ll be fired (my manager so nicely reminds me of this often).

Quitting this job means having to quit school. This is the only job that will provide me with part time hours that pays me well enough to survive and ensure all of my bills are paid. My family is going to be so let down. I am so let down. I dont know when I will have another opportunity in the future to return to school. It will probably take me 5 years to pay off all of the debt I currently have. I wouldn’t even want to attempt school again until that’s paid off.

I am really worried about my future.

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